Recently, I had someone ask how I deal with internet trolls – people who seem to take contrary positions just for spite or simply refuse to leave you alone, especially on social media. In this digital age it can be difficult to walk away from an argument, especially when we are convinced that the other person is wrong. Sometimes we are dealing with slanderous accusations or someone misrepresenting a position or organization with which we associate. Should we stay silent when we feel attacked, especially when it is unprovoked or appears to have an intent to cause harm? There is also the question of justice: is it right to let people misrepresent others by making false statements in a public forum? If we don’t stand up for ourselves, it is unlikely that anyone else will, and the truth matters, doesn’t it?
There are many ways to rationalize going toe-to-toe with strangers (or acquaintances) online who are stirring up trouble. Still, experience teaches us that these kinds of keyboard wars rarely end with anyone repenting of speaking falsehoods or admitting they were wrong about us or our position. And when it comes to Christians, we ought to be concerned not only with being right, but with showing the love and mercy of Christ to others, even when they don’t deserve it. So what are we supposed to do? To me, this seems like a perfect opportunity to apply one of the more challenging bits of wisdom in the book of Proverbs. Some see it as a contradiction:
Don’t answer a fool according to his foolishness or you’ll be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his foolishness or he’ll become wise in his own eyes.
Proverbs 26:4-5
On the one hand, there’s a significant risk involved in answering a fool – that is, getting involved in an argument with a fool – you might become just like him. On the other hand, if you don’t confront the fool he will conclude that he has a winning argument and be further committed to foolishness. So which is it? Should you answer the fool or ignore him? Should you engage in a possibly heated exchange or walk away? Should you keep responding or let him have the final say?
When you answer a fool according to his foolishness, you risk becoming a fool yourself.
What we are dealing with in the example of the internet troll is an opportunity to exercise biblical wisdom. This is wisdom that comes from God, not from men, so it will be largely obscure to those who do not know God. It does not correspond to our natural instincts as fallen creatures, nor will it align with the prevailing wisdom of our day, and it will also not yield a simplistic set of rules we can follow in every case. Wisdom requires maturity, self-control, and above all, the fear of the Lord.
In the opening chapters of the book of Proverbs, Solomon repeatedly exhorts his sons to seek after wisdom. This is a key step in their process of maturation, not just as men but as followers of the one true God. “Hear, my son, and accept my sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths” (4:1-2). Self-control is also a common theme in biblical wisdom. “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city” (16:32). And the connection between fearing God and having wisdom is stated multiple times in the book of Proverbs: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction” (1:7) and “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” (9:10).
We must be committed to doing God’s will first of all, and only then can we determine the best course of action. So wisdom, true biblical wisdom, is only available to the man, woman, or child who starts in a position of humble submission to God. Wisdom comes only to those who are growing in self-control, which means we are not being ruled by our impulses and are learning to say “no” to ourselves by the power of God’s Holy Spirit. And wisdom is a demonstration of maturity; rather than being children who are tossed to and fro, we are becoming settled, rooted in God’s word and in the fellowship of his saints. These are all essential to understanding and applying the counsel of Proverbs 26:4-5 and knowing when to answer a fool and when to ignore him.
So what do those verses teach us about when to do which? And how can we apply them to ourselves and our digital lives? Let’s consider what each verses says in turn. The reason you should not answer a fool according to his foolishness is that you risk becoming a fool yourself. Think of a scenario where someone is spouting off about some issue of which he is evidently quite ignorant. If you are also ignorant of the specifics of that issue, then you are just as likely as he to play the part of the fool. As Proverbs 18:2 says, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
Another situation in which to remain silent is when you know you are likely to be drawn into a petty argument that will quickly devolve into name-calling. Again, the issue is that you know there is a high likelihood that you will be tempted to act like a fool; wisdom advises us to avoid these situations. “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent” (17:28). Sometimes it really is best just to keep your mouth (or your keyboard) shut.
On the other hand, Proverbs 26:5 teaches us that there are times when we must answer the fool according to his foolishness. The rest of the verse gives us a standard by which to discern those times: when remaining silent will result in the fool being confirmed in his foolishness by thinking he has been proved right. Charles Bridges sums up the verse this way: “Silence may sometimes be mistaken for defeat. Unanswered words may be deemed unanswerable. An answer may, therefore, be called for, not in folly, but to folly.”1 Bridges rightly points to Jesus as the perfect example of wisdom. “His silence and his answers were equally worthy of himself. The former always conveyed a dignified rebuke. The latter responded to the confusion of his contentious enemies.”2
We ought to be, like our Savior, men and women characterized by such sincerity in truth and discretion in our speech that our silence in the face of mocking attacks carries a dignified rebuke. And when we do speak in response to a fool’s self-righteous boasting, we would confound the enemies of the truth with our gracious yet accurate words. How do you know when is the time to speak and when to remain silent? I can’t answer that for you, but consider this thought-provoking question: “Will not a prayerful meditative study communicate to us a large measure of his divine wisdom?”3
Remember Ecclesiastes 3:7 says “there is a time to be silent and a time to speak.” Ask God to give you wisdom to know which is which.
1Charles Bridges, Proverbs (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2001), 234.
2Ibid.
3Ibid. It may be helpful to study Jesus’ interactions with the Jews in Matthew 15:1-9; 16:1-4; 21:23-27; and especially 22:15-46. Many of these have parallels in Mark and Luke.