The Betrothal View – In Matthew 15:19 Jesus is explaining the meaning of a parable to his disciples and he lists several things which come out of a man’s heart and defile him: evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, and blasphemies. What is noteworthy is that Jesus makes a distinction between the sins of adultery and fornication, the first being unfaithfulness to one’s spouse while the second term refers to sexual sins in general. This same distinction between these two terms is used in the parallel passage of Mark 7:21, in Paul’s list of the works of the flesh in Galatians 5:19, and by the writer of Hebrews when he declares that “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). The conclusion drawn by proponents of the betrothal view is that fornication refers to sexual sin prior to marriage, while adultery refers to an illicit sexual relationship after marriage. Since Jesus used the term fornication in both Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, he must have meant something other than adultery as the basis for divorce, namely, sexual unfaithfulness during the betrothal period.
Alfred Edersheim, in The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah explains: “From the moment of betrothal both parties were regarded, and treated by law (as to inheritance, adultery, need of formal divorce), as if they had been actually married, except as regarded their living together.” This explains why Joseph, in Matthew 1:19 was contemplating putting Mary away (divorcing her) after he discovered that she was pregnant. It also explains the objection of the Pharisees in John 8:41 that they were not “born of fornication” when Jesus told them they were not Abraham’s children because they lacked the patriarch’s faith. They were referring to a child born to a woman who had entered into a sexual relationship without being married. Abel Isaksson concludes that, “Linguistically speaking, the most probable meaning of porneia, when used in a statement of a legal nature about a married woman’s crime, is undoubtedly premarital unchastity.”
In this view, then, any marriage that has been lawfully consummated cannot be undone, even by divorce. The only allowable divorce is during the betrothal period, and since modern engagements can be broken without any legal action, there is no modern-day application of Jesus’ “exception” clause. Neither divorce nor remarriage is allowed under this view.
The Unlawful Marriage View – Those who take this view appeal to the decision of the Jerusalem council in Acts 15:20, 29 that Gentiles who became Christians should be instructed only to “abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood.” These prohibitions were offered in an attempt to make peace between Jews and Gentiles in the 1st century church, because these actions were considered especially offensive to Jewish believers. All four practices were specifically prohibited in the holiness code of Leviticus 17 & 18.
Leviticus 17:8-9 addresses the issue of meat offered to some god other than Yahweh, a sin for which any man who was guilty was to be cut off from the people, that is, put to death. In v.10-12 the law prohibits the eating of blood, and, in v.15, any animal that was improperly butchered or killed by wild animals. Then in 18:1-17 the children of Israel were prohibited from any sexual relationship between close relatives. That these four prohibitions appear in the council’s decision in Acts 15 suggests, in the eyes of those who hold this view, that the word porneia (translated “sexual immorality”) refers to the OT laws against incest. This seems to be the conclusion of F. F. Bruce in his Acts of the Apostles where he says, “It seems strange to find an injunction against fornication coupled with food regulations. Illicit sexual relations were, however, regarded very lightly by the Greeks, and porneia was closely associated with several of their religious festivals. Here the word should probably be taken in a special sense, of breaches of the Jewish marriage law, which was taken over by the Church.”
In other words, the apostles and elders of the Jerusalem church were concerned that the Gentiles might allow next-of-kin marriages, but these would be out of bounds for believers, and in such cases the marriage would simply be annulled. Jesus’ mention of fornication in Matthew means that any person finding himself married to a close relative would be allowed to divorce, but remarriage would be excluded. The legal prohibitions against marriages between close relatives in most modern societies mean that this exception does not really have an application today.
Conclusion – Which of these views is correct? Obviously, this is a hotly debated topic, and we must be careful to respect the goodwill of those with whom we disagree. Personally, I have concluded that the betrothal view has the strongest support and makes the best use of the available Scriptural evidence. I am concerned that the popularity of the Reformers’ View coupled with lax divorce laws in our society in recent decades has made divorce much more common among Christians. However, I do not consider a person’s view of this issue or whether he has been divorced or remarried to define if he is a true Christian. Let us pursue charity toward one another as we make every effort to strengthen and preserve marriages in light of God’s original design and Jesus’ affirmation of the life-long commitment that is biblical marriage.