The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about parenting. Solomon’s frankness can at times make us uncomfortable, yet he offers abundant wisdom for both parents and children. Because children ultimately belong to their Creator, parents are to train them to fear the Lord and obey his commands. Children are to listen and receive instruction in wisdom, so they can grow to become faithful servants of God.
Just how seriously should we take these responsibilities both as parents and as children? Solomon puts forward several benefits that we may expect, if we follow his wise counsel. For children this includes learning to fear Yahweh (Prov. 2:5), long life (3:2), security, and guidance (6:22). For parents the primary benefit is joy and satisfaction (10:1; 15:20). In fact children have the capacity and even the responsibility to make mom and dad happy and rejoice (23:24-25).
But what about the other side of that coin? Are there any warnings about the consequences of parents failing to instruct their children in the fear of the Lord? What about threats to the child who refuses to listen or turns away from his parents’ teaching? In the end the result of either form of disobedience is essentially the same: a foolish child. And Solomon cautions that parents of foolish children will get grief (17:21,25), humiliation (28:7), and endless troubles (19:13). The foolish child reaps the opposite of all the benefits promised to the wise son. But there’s also a very specific warning that is worth a moment’s consideration.
In Proverbs 30:17 Solomon gives a very graphic depiction of the expected end of the child who refuses to listen to his parents.
The eye that mocks a father
and scorns to obey a mother
will be picked out by the ravens of the valley
and eaten by the vultures.
An entire parable is packed into this one verse, as Dan Phillips helpfully explains in his excellent book, God’s Wisdom in Proverbs. “This child is not walking in God’s commands. He has found a way that looks better, in his own eyes. It seems logical, reasonable, promising. His friends affirm him in his choice.”1
Children have the capacity and the responsibility to make mom and dad rejoice.
What is the consequence for the young person who chooses his own path, mocking his father’s counsel and scorning any thought of obeying his mother? “[This] is a path that leads to his own destruction (Prov. 14:12).”2 Let me quote Pastor Phillips at some length, because he offers a very clear explanation of the end of the rebellious youth.
Where do we find this independent, “free” soul now, as a result of his choices? That eye, which rebelled against God, is being “picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” What are ravens and vultures? They are birds of carrion. They eat dead things. Carrion-birds would not be attacking this young man and overpowering him if he were in good health, and certainly not if he were at home.
“Ah,” you say, “he is dead.” Not merely dead, though. Birds of carrion would not be feasting on this young man if he had died, and then had been buried or entombed, as was normal. His corpse must be lying out open and exposed in a field.
So how did this young man come to this end? These birds could only feast on a young man if he were both dead and unburied. He must be away from home, with none to care for him, else his parents would have seen to his burial.
Solomon’s condensed picture, then, is of a young man who has estranged himself from his family by his sin. He has alienated himself, by his mockery and rebellion, from those who loved him most deeply and purely. He has met a violent end, unburied and unmourned and uncared-for.3
How could a young person get to the point where his rebellion has completely cut him off from those who love him most? It’s not that difficult to imagine. Consider the LGBTQ+ movement that has swept through American culture since the sexual revolution in the 1960s. Popular voices within that movement have given a clear strategy to young people whose ideas of sexual liberation are contrary to the mores of their parents. This includes seeking support from others who identify themselves as LGBTQ+, setting emotional and even physical boundaries with unsupportive family members, prioritizing self-care, and practicing mindfulness techniques when engaging in conversation.4
Compare this with the scenario that Solomon described in Proverbs 30:17. Instead of heeding his parents’ instruction and the warnings to fear his Creator, the world tells young people it “is essential to protect their mental wellbeing and prioritize their emotional needs.” This involves “reducing interactions or cutting ties with those who don’t accept their gender identity,” so they can “seek solace in the company of supportive and affirming individuals.”
This is precisely the opposite of God’s wisdom. Instead of listening to father and mother, who love him most deeply and purely, he is told he must limit interactions and cut ties completely if they refuse to affirm his choices. Instead of seeking solace in the company of family that love him and want the best for him, he is encouraged to seek out a new community rooted, not in love and the fear of Yahweh, but in shared rebellion against the Creator’s design for human identity and sex. In short, the current advice the LGBTQ+ movement offers young people is a fast track to alienation from one’s family and the fulfillment of Solomon’s dire warning. This is neither wisdom nor authenticity but ancient folly that always ends in disaster. To avoid disaster and experience the benefits of godly child-training, choose the way of wisdom in the fear of the Lord.
1Dan Phillips, God’s Wisdom in Proverbs (The Woodlands, TX: Kress Biblical Resources, 2011), 262.
2Ibid.
3Ibid. While not a traditional commentary, God’s Wisdom in Proverbs is a great resource for getting a grasp on the book.
4Here is one example of a site dedicated to helping children come out to their parents. https://transaware.net/what-to-do-if-your-parents-dont-accept-you-as-trans/
