Scripture says young women are to love their husbands and children and be sound-minded and pure. Let’s consider the rest of the commands found in Titus 2:4-5 in this sermon excerpt from 2017:
The next admonition is one of that is often misunderstood and misapplied. Paul says that young women, you need to be kind homemakers. A lot of ink has been spilled on trying to explain what Paul is saying here, but it shouldn’t really be that difficult. The word homemaker here emphasizes the idea of being a good worker – of being diligent – at home. And the word kind really has to do with being productive or useful, so that the work that a women engages in at home is to be valuable to her family. Some people have tried to use these words to suggest that a woman’s place is in the home, and that she shouldn’t work outside the home, but that’s putting words in Paul’s mouth. The contrast isn’t between a woman working in the home or outside the home; the contrast is between a women working diligently at home or being lazy and self-indulgent. She’s supposed to bring value to the family, doing good for them rather than just for herself.
But this instruction also fits really well with the previous one. The danger is that if the young women are not diligent and hardworking, then they will become busybodies and undisciplined, giving in to temptation, even to the point of immorality. This was apparently what was happening in the church in Ephesus where young widows were becoming “idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies.” That’s 1 Timothy 5:13. What’s the best way a young woman (or young man, for that matter) can avoid the temptations of sexual immorality, of gossip and slander, or selfish indulgence? Be diligent at home. Work hard to do good. That’s what older ladies ought to be showing and teaching the younger ones in the church.
And then Paul really steps in it with what he says next in v.5, that younger women, you need to be obedient to your own husbands. Here’s a volatile command, and one that we will usually either ignore as outdated or try to explain in some way that doesn’t make us look like unsophisticated brutes, but the problem is that it’s really pretty clear and hard to misunderstand. Paul is saying that a wife is to be obedient to her own husband. Now, a couple of observations must be made here that, I think, will be helpful. First of all, look at the two words that come before husbands in this verse – “their own.” What do this mean? That Paul is not teaching a general principle of, for lack of a better term, gender roles in society. He’s not saying that women are to be in submission to men in general, but that a wife is to be obedient to her husband. In other words, within the context of a relationship in which husband and wife have entered into a life-long covenant, each one having made promises to the other to love, respect, honor, and cherish, in that relationship context, a wife has a duty to submit to her husband. And the second point that needs to be made here is that Paul does not allow the husband to demand submission, instead he instructs the older women to train the younger to live in obedience to their own husbands.
Now at the end of the verse Paul offers some explanation for why he has given these instructions. His concern is primarily spiritual rather than practical. It’s not that having the young women in the church learn from the older ladies about how to love their husbands and children won’t make for happier families and a better society. It’s just that the world is watching Christians to see how the gospel that we preach affects our lives. R. Lenski wrote, “The world will to a great extent judge the churches by the character which the gospel produces in the women,” and I think he’s right! Ladies, how you behave in the church, at home, and in public will have a powerful impact on the testimony of Christ. If you neglect your responsibilities, give in to ungodly temptations, or allow the world to set your priorities, there is every reason to believe that the word of God will be blasphemed by your neighbors and friends and family. But the opposite is also true. If you will adorn the gospel by a life of love, self-control, purity, and obedience then the truth will shine through you.
Let me just offer a couple of of applications. First of all, ladies, your service at home is gospel ministry. It seems that there are many women today who feel like their gifts and abilities are being squandered if they do not find themselves in positions of authority and influence in the church and in the world at large. Social media and the internet has given all of us, men as well as women, the illusion that the importance of a thing is directly related to the number of likes or views or impressions it generates. There has always been the temptation to seek greater influence and a larger following, but ladies, when you love your husband and your children, work diligently at home, and pursue stability and purity, you are engaging in gospel ministry to your own family. Don’t diminish the work of being a godly wife and mother. These are gospel duties that will bring eternal dividends in the lives of our children and grandchildren.
Secondly, let love abound in your home. Let me start with the older ladies here. If you’ve raised children and been faithful to your husband–some of you have even become widows, having loved your husband until death as you promised–your home ought to be a model of love and generosity. We have the stereotype of the older couple who are constantly bickering and complaining about one another, but this ought not to be found among the followers of Christ! How will you teach the young women to love their husbands if you are constantly complaining about your own? How can you help them to love their children if you don’t show them how to love your kids into adulthood and independence? We need a generation of older women in the church who will exemplify love in the home to teach the ones who are raising children now and those who are not yet wives or mothers. And young ladies, commit yourself to God’s design for your life. That doesn’t mean you can’t pursue your gifts and your dreams. But you can’t please God by ignoring what he says, so learn to love your husband and your children, to make a home for them and to serve them.