The New Testament opens with the Gospel of Matthew and, following a strategically placed genealogy of Jesus we read these words:
Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.”
Matthew 1:18-20
This passage brings to mind scenes of Christmas and memories of the story of Jesus’ birth being read in churches during the Advent season, but there are a few details here that are important with respect to the subject of marriage and divorce.
First of all, Mary and Joseph were not actually married at this point; they were betrothed. This reflects the ancient custom where a man would arrange to marry a woman by making an agreement with her father and paying her father a bride price (Ex. 22:16-17)1. This would secure the marriage engagement until such a time as the husband was ready to receive his wife, and then they would actually be married. Sometimes the betrothal period lasted for several years, as in the case of Jacob agreeing to work 7 years for Laban in order to earn his Rachel’s hand in marriage (Gen. 39:18-20) and 7 more years after Laban had deceived him into marrying his older daughter Leah instead (v.27-28). Another example is found in the story of Dinah, whose betrothal was cut short when her older brothers, Simeon and Levi, murdered all the men of the city including her betrothed husband and father-in-law in an act of bloody revenge that brought shame and reproach on the entire family (Gen. 34). These examples demonstrate that betrothal preceded marriage, and though the betrothed couple were not yet considered married they were legally bound together and could only be separated by divorce.
This is exactly what Matthews tells us Joseph planned to do when he found out that Mary was pregnant. Obviously, he came to the most reasonable conclusion based on the evidence, that she had been unfaithful to their betrothal agreement and had become pregnant through intercourse with another man. Matthew is careful to point out that Joseph was a “just” man, signifying that he was righteous or law-abiding. Not only was the child not his, but he was within his rights to initiate a divorce during the betrothal period, having found out (at least from the perspective of his limited knowledge) that Mary was no longer the virgin he had agreed to marry. Once Joseph received the additional revelation from the angel who appeared to him, he realized that Mary had not been unfaithful and was still a virgin, and he obeyed the angel’s instruction to go ahead and marry her and name the son that would be born, Jesus, “for He will save His people from their sins.”
While this passage does not give us any direct insight into the nature of marriage and divorce, it does show us how seriously the people of the ancient world viewed the marriage agreement of betrothal. And I believe that Matthew mentions the specific details of this account in order to set the stage for our understanding of Jesus’ words about marriage and divorce later on in this same Gospel. We will consider the teachings of our Savior concerning marriage and divorce in Matthew 5 and 19 next.
1This passage states that a man who has sexual relations with a young woman who is not betrothed to a husband must marry her, paying the full bride price to her father. If her father will not give her to the man as wife, he still must pay the bride price. This was done in order to preserve her economic value in the family, since she could no longer command the full price from a prospective husband since she was no longer a virgin. Regardless of these details, it helps us understand the custom of betrothal that Matthew is referring to between Mary and Joseph.