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Song of Songs – A Growing Love

Of all the books in the Bible that speak on the subject of marriage, the Song of Songs is possibly the most challenging and misunderstood. It is the only one of more than 1,000 songs composed by Solomon to be preserved in the pages of Scripture, and its meaning and significance are disputed by many interpreters. Over the years, many have argued for an allegorical interpretation based on the assumption that the Song of Songs is really speaking about Yahweh’s relationship to Israel or about Christ and the church. However, this book speaks most directly to the subject of romantic love in marriage, and only secondarily may be applied to the relationship between God and his people.

The opening section of the book (1:2-3:5) deals with the courtship of Solomon and his bride, a woman whose name is never given but is called only “the Shulamite” (literally, “the Solomoness”).She was not from Jerusalem but from a small village where she lived with her brothers and tended one of Solomon’s vineyards. This woman was not a courtier, so she was not used to life in a palace, and she did not fit in with the young women of the city. Still, Solomon saw her, recognized her beauty, and pursued a romantic relationship with her which culminated in a marriage proposal. Throughout the time of their courtship, the lovers exchange words concerning their physical attraction as well as the attractiveness of their character. The Shulamite desires Solomon’s physical affection and finds him intoxicating and refreshing (1:2-3). She is somewhat insecure when she compares her dark tan to the fairer appearance of the city women (v.5-6), but he compliments her, calling her a one-of-a-kind beauty, and affirming that he desires her and not another (v.8-10). Their courtship continues as they speak with a growing intensity of desire, praising each other and extolling each other’s virtues (1:12-2:3). Twice, the Shulamite cautions the “daughters of Jerusalem” not to “stir up nor awaken love until it pleases” (2:7; 3:5). This isn’t necessarily an admonition to purity as much as a recognition that romantic love cannot be forced, but must be received as a gift from God and waited for patiently. Several important lessons are taught in these opening chapters, including the importance of both physical attraction and restraint during courtship, and the fact that genuine love requires time to be alone with one’s lover.

The book then moves from the courtship to the wedding (3:6-5:1), beginning with Solomon’s arrival to claim his bride. After the wedding procession, the song moves to the wedding night, and we hear the intimate exchange between the lovers as they prepare to consummate their union. It is Solomon who first speaks and extols the beauty of his wife, moving from her eyes and hair (4:1) to her teeth (v.2), her lips and her cheeks (v.3), her neck (v.4) and her breasts (v.5). As far as he is concerned she has no flaw (v.7), and he is completely overwhelmed with desire for her (v.9-11). With stirring words and vivid imagery he praises her purity and desirability (v.12-14), and he concludes with a familiar set of images: a garden fountain, a well of living water, and a mountain stream (v.15). In other words, she satisfies him completely and refreshes him thoroughly with her love. To this, she replies with an invitation for Solomon to consummate their marriage (v.16), an invitation that he enthusiastically accepts (5:1). This verse ends with a word of affirmation that is likely from God himself, the only other person who would have been present on their wedding night: “Eat, O friends! Drink, yes, drink deeply, O beloved ones!” We are reminded of the blessing and beauty of sexual love in marriage, which is not some illicit pleasure but part of God’s original design in the Garden of Eden. We also see that marriage partners are to give themselves to their spouse without reservation and with joy, fully satisfying the other.

After the wedding, the song moves on to talk about the maturing marriage relationship (5:2-8:4) in which they must deal with a serious relational challenge and continue to grow in their love for one another. First, Solomon comes to his wife’s bedchamber only to find that she has grown cold toward him for some reason. She no longer welcomes his advance and responds with indifference as he tries to enter her room (5:2-4). When she finally opens the door, she finds that he has gone (v.5-6), and she spends the rest of the night searching for him (v.7-8). As she searches, she enlists the help of the daughters of Jerusalem and praises her husband, and this praise helps rekindle her former feelings (v.8-16). She finds him again, right where she knew he would be (6:2), and she expresses her desire for him once again (v.3), to which he responds by reaffirming his love, even repeating some of the praise he gave her on their wedding night (v.4-10). Rather than ending in conflict, they overcame this challenge by praising one another and declaring that their love had not diminished but had grown since their wedding. The song moves on in chapters 7 and 8 to describe the growing intimacy of their relationship. The imagery that is used here is even bolder and more descriptive of their lovemaking as they explored one another and grew ever more confident and free together. One writer summarized it this way: “Such an increase in sexual freedom is a normal part of a healthy, maturing marriage.” The refrain of 7:10 states emphatically that the Shulamite belongs to Solomon and his desire is for her alone, and the final chapter of the book reveals that, even after all of this, there is still a desire for greater intimacy and the exploration of every facet of their relationship. The Song of Songs serves as a divine stamp of approval on sexual love in a marriage, which is to be guarded by faithfulness before and after the wedding and a commitment to life-long affection and intimacy.

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