There are just a couple more texts I would like to discuss with respect to the subject of marriage in Scripture that has been our focus for nearly all of 2019. The first is found in 1 Timothy 5 where the apostle Paul writes concerning the church’s care of widows. The main point of this passage is that the church is to provide financial support to widows who are in the congregation. But there are some contingencies. Paul says in v.3 they must really be widows. What does he mean by that? Were there women masquerading as widows who had perfectly good husbands still living at home? No. Paul explains that the first support for widows ought to come from their own children and grandchildren, and that a widow who is truly without any other means of support “trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day” (v.5). In order to receive support from the church, Paul says, a widow must be at least 60 years old having been the wife of one man (v.9), and she must have a reputation for good works. These include raising children, welcoming strangers into her home, ministering to the saints, and helping those in need.
But Paul warns in v.11 that younger widows must be rejected from this program of financial support. He defends this position by saying that rather than being committed to trusting the Lord and prayer, these younger widows may experience the impulse of sexual desire and decide to pursue marriage. Now, there is nothing wrong with a widow getting remarried, in fact, that is exactly the solution that Paul will present for these younger widows, but the concern here seems to be that they will marry the first available man, without regard for whether he is even a Christian, and they may be led away from the faith. Another concern is that they will become lazy and carry on with all sorts of gossip and worthless talk. Godly women are to have their focus centered on Christ, and especially widows who have no husband to divert their attention, yet that focus may be threatened by youthful impulses. And so Paul says that young widows ought to “marry, bear children, manage the house, [and] give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (v.14). In other words, Paul sees marriage and childbearing as the woman’s primary function in society and in the church. This is not tyrannical patriarchy or misogyny but wise counsel for churches whose resources are limited and widows who desire to please the Lord.
The issue of marriage is found in another pair of passages, these concerning the qualifications of church officers. In 1 Timothy 3:2 Paul says, “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach,” and again in v.12, “Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.” In a parallel text in Titus 1:6, Paul says that an elder is to be appointed “if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination.”
The first qualification for elders that Paul gives in both Timothy and Titus is that they must be “blameless.” This means that they have behaved in such a way that no one is able to credibly accuse them of wrongdoing. Homer Kent puts it succinctly when he says, “His conduct should be of such a nature that no handle is given to anyone by which to injure his reputation.” The qualities which follow blamelessness, then, explain the various aspects which are involved, and the first one is that the elder must be “the husband of one wife.” This qualification is also required of deacons, as is blamelessness (1 Tim. 3:10), but what exactly does it mean? Well, at the very least, it restricts the roles of elder/bishop and deacon to males, because, contrary to what 21st century western society claims, only a man can be a husband. But it certainly means more than that. In fact, Kent identifies five distinct views that have been held: 1) he must be married to the church, 2) he must not be a polygamist, 3) he may not be a remarried widower, 4) he may not be unmarried, 5) he may not be divorced.
The first view is held by some Roman Catholics and is pretty clearly an attempt to protecting the celibacy of the priests, but there is no indication whatever that Paul is spiritualizing marriage here, so this view is pretty easily dismissed. The second view is convenient since polygamy is generally not found in the West and therefore it is not really controversial, but it seems unlikely that this issue was so prevalent in Paul’s day that it would be the first concern with respect to an elder’s reputation. It should also be pointed out that Paul uses the phrase “wife of one husband” in 5:9 as a qualification for older widows to receive church support, and it seems very unlikely that his concern is that women would have multiple husbands. The third view is actually quite common, but it seems to run contrary to Paul’s admonition to widows both in 1 Cor. 7 and in 1 Tim. 5 to remarry if they were young enough. There just doesn’t seem to be any reason why it would be sinful or scandalous for a widowed elder to remarry. The view that Paul excludes unmarried men also seems very unlikely, since he emphasizes the number “one,” rather than simply saying that a bishop must be the husband of a wife, if that is what he meant. And furthermore, 1 Cor. 7 makes it clear there is nothing wrong with being single.
That leaves the view that excludes a divorced man from serving as pastor or deacon, although even this view may be divided into more than one camp, as there may be some who are divorced and yet remain unmarried and may still claim to be “the husband of one wife.” This is especially true today where there is no-fault divorce and a wife can divorce her husband without his cooperation or consent. It seems that the best way to take this phrase, in my thinking, is that it describes the nature of the man who would be an elder, namely, that he is faithful to his wife (if he is married at all), a man of integrity and a reputation for faithfulness in marriage. Kent summarizes this well, saying, “The phrase by Paul is stated positively. The overseer must be a one-woman man. He must be devoted to her and give her all the love and consideration that a wife deserves. It means more than merely not divorced, although this the objective fact which can be checked on by the church. When divorce and remarried persons are saved, they should rejoice in their salvation, and should serve the Lord faithfulness in every way they can. But they should not aspire to be overseers.” This upholds the high value that God places on the institution of marriage which he ordained.