Over the past couple of weeks, I have read two books on the subject of guidance from God in preparation to teach on that subject in our Fully Equipped Sunday morning class through the end of September. Our guest speaker actually began the class two Sundays ago and taught on the issues of anxiety about God’s will and the sovereignty of God. With those two foundational lessons completed, we will begin talking about God’s will in earnest this Sunday.
As I was reading the book Step by Step by James C. Petty, I came across a thought-provoking passage. He emphasizes the importance of gaining biblical wisdom for making decisions according to God’s will and devotes an entire chapter on how we as Christians may become wise. He begins by pointing out that we need wisdom in order to become wise, and while this may sound like “a life and death ‘Catch-22’,” God grants us wisdom when we are born again by faith in Jesus Christ.
With that foundation of wisdom graciously given to us by our Heavenly Father, we may begin to develop wisdom as we grow in Christ. Petty says that the second step toward wisdom, once we have become a Christian, is to yield ourselves more and more to trust in and obey God rather than serve the false gods we turn to by nature. The third step, according to Petty, is for us to pursue wisdom, to seek it more than gold or silver and to receive it into our hearts.
All of these things seem pretty straightforward, but I think that we often fail to appreciate what Petty calls the fourth step to growing in wisdom. It is related to the third step, but in addition to seeking wisdom from God, we must seek wisdom from those who have already become wise. For example, children ought to learn wisdom from godly parents. But the place where many of us fail to seek wisdom, especially as adults, is the one place we seem most reluctant to look: the church.
Petty says, “Men and women of godly wisdom are placed by God within the church to help you grow; to help you walk worthily of the Lord in your marriage, personal life, parenting, job, and ministry.” Do you ever think of your fellow church members as a God-ordained source of wisdom? I know I struggle with this at times, and I do not think I am alone.
It is easy to dismiss others in the church simply because we have seen them struggle in some way or another and so we do not consider them sufficiently mature or wise to give us insight or instruction. Or maybe we have allowed some personal disagreement to grow into a critical spirit, so that we do not welcome their help. Whatever the reason, when we make a major decision without even discussing it with our brothers and sisters in the church, we are foolishly neglecting a primary resource of divine wisdom.
Petty asks a series of probing questions that I found uncomfortable and helpful in diagnosing my own tendency to “go it alone.” He begins with this: “How often do we ask faithful men and women for an evaluation of what they see in our lives?” Um, can we just skip this one? Who wants to ask someone such an open-ended question and expose themselves to the answers?
That’s a hard place to start, but Petty continues to probe: “Do we ask where they see us a compromised, unfruitful, falling short of God’s way, neglecting priorities or opportunities?” While we all would likely admit that we fall short, I think we usually do not pursue clear and pointed answers to exactly where and how we are coming up short. Yet that is exactly what we need to do, if we are going to become wise.
The next questions continue to push us toward growth: “Do we pursue those who have the wisdom and position to help us see ourselves against the backdrop of God’s character? Or do we just wait and hope that nobody criticizes us?” Becoming wise requires that we do hard things rather than settle for the easy way out, and it is definitely hard to place ourselves intentionally in a position to be criticized.1
Petty notes that “Many of us live in quiet fear that someone will find out what we are really like. Others try and convince themselves that no one else knows enough about them (even spouses or parents) to tell them frankly their faults and encourage their growth in Christlikeness.” Part of living in Christian fellowship an seeking to live out the one another commands of the NT involves intentionally exposing our lives to the oversight of others. This is what we covenant to do when we join the church, so that God may teach us wisdom by the men and women he has gathered into this body.
How much do we miss when we neglect the fellowship of the church? When we do not allow anyone to get close enough to see us and know our struggles? When we refuse to receive with gratitude a word of caution or insight from a concerned brother or sister? Just as we must be willing to do the hard thing of diligently studying and faithfully applying God’s word to our lives in order to grow in wisdom, so we must be willing to open ourselves up to the exhortation and admonition of our fellow-saints.
In this year of [anti]social distancing and so-called “virtual church,” we cannot afford to abandon seeking wisdom by associating with the wise. Nor can we neglect our duty to speak words of wisdom and truth, even though they may not always be received with grace. If you do not currently have such openness with anyone in the church, let me encourage you to seek out just such a relationship with a brother or sister who can be one means by which God will make you wise.
1By criticism here I do not mean harsh or destructive judgment but rather a critique or honest evaluation of one’s life and character. Uncomfortable? Yes. Abusive? No.